


How To Say I Love You

by Shinimegami



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Fluff, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Pining, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-10
Updated: 2015-09-16
Packaged: 2018-04-20 03:11:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4771286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinimegami/pseuds/Shinimegami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How do you tell your best friend you love them? Kagami’s not sure he even should. After all, he’s not even sure Kuroko would feel the same way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My first try at a KagaKuro chapter fic. I have a definite plan for this one, even if the chapter number is possibly a bit tentative. Enjoy!

_God, I love you._

The thought caught him off guard, so much that Kagami almost choked on the bite of burger he was trying to swallow, coughing and then taking a large gulp of the cola next to his tray. Kuroko tilted his head in an almost bemused fashion, and reached for his vanilla shake, sipping it.

“Kagami-kun should eat more slowly. I don’t think I’m tall enough to effectively perform the Heimlich on him.”

Heat flooded his face in an instant, because quick eating was _definitely_ not the reason he’d just almost choked to death on one of his favorite foods.

“I know that!” He protested. It was weak, and he knew it, but whether Kuroko really knew and acknowledged that or not, Kagami couldn’t tell.

They were here for their usual evening after-practice visit to Maji Burger, and everything seemed normal for the most part. Well…until that thought anyway. Admittedly, said thought was prompted by the sight of Kuroko laughing at something stupid he’d jokingly said just moments before, so Kagami guessed it wasn’t totally out of _nowhere_. Kuroko didn’t laugh much, but when he did, did it in this quiet, weird, radiant kind of way that made Kagami’s heart do about a thousand and one backflips.

It was totally normal to think your best friend was beautiful, right?

Or that you love them?

No?

He was afraid of that.

Well…shit.

Truthfully, he might have wanted to pretend that this whole thought was completely and utterly unexpected in every kind of way, and that it totally didn’t have any previous thoughts or feelings or backing to it, but as sudden as it was _in that particular moment_ , Kagami would be lying right through his teeth if he said that he didn’t really see this coming. It started to slowly to dawn on him the beginning of the Winter Cup, and then just kept growing from there on out. When you looked at it, he supposed he kind of always knew he was in love long before his mind was even ready to admit it, sudden thought or no.

After all, all the signs were there. Every once in awhile he’d catch himself staring just a little too long at his partner, or walking a bit too close to him and fighting with everything he had in him not to just impulsively reach out and hold his hand. Before Kagami knew it there were nights where he’d lay in bed and stare at the ceiling, thinking of sky blue eyes, comforted by the fact that he knew he’d get to see them again in the morning on the walk to school.

And honestly, he kind of felt like an idiot for it.

He especially felt like a big idiot right now for thinking something so embarrassing while he was staring the person he was thinking it about right in the face.

“Besides, I would rather not face coach’s wrath brought on by telling her I allowed you to be taken out by a hundred yen burger.”

“Oi!”

Kagami would have protested further, but his heart did that little flip flopping thing again with the sight of the playful teasing and amusement that lurked behind Kuroko’s eyes as he sipped his shake.

_I am so, so screwed._

* * *

 

He always walked Kuroko home on nights like this, or at least walked with him to a halfway point where they could split and he’d feel like Kuroko would be able to get there safely. Kagami sometimes had to remind himself he wasn’t back in the US, and that it wasn’t quite as bad to make a longer walk back home now that it was almost night, but even then that didn’t _really_ stop him from worrying. Before, he’d even almost told Kuroko to text him when he got home, only stopping himself because he feared that would probably make him look odd or like some kind of worrywart. Somehow he knew if anything happened, he’d probably be the first person Kuroko would text anyway, really.

Tonight, as was their usual routine, they both stopped underneath a streetlight on a corner where both their paths home diverged in their own separate directions. Kuroko turned to him and looked up at him, blue eyes seeming to catch under the streetlamp and glow in their own sort of way.

“I suppose we’ll be heading off on our own now. Will Kagami-kun meet me here tomorrow morning to walk to school?”

He always asked that, even if Kagami was certain he already knew the answer by this point. Kagami couldn’t place when exactly that had become actually endearing instead of annoying.

_I love you._

The thought occurred again and Kagami’s breath got caught in his throat as he tried to keep himself from just blurting it outright, glad that the rush of blood to his face probably couldn’t be really seen under the very edges of the glow of a streetlamp.

Luckily, this time, he was successful in stopping himself from pouring his heart out onto the sidewalk in front of him.

This time.

“Yeah, same as always.”

Kuroko gave him a small smile that made his insides give this weird, fluttery feeling again.

“Alright then. Goodnight, Kagami-kun.”

“G’night.”

Kuroko turned and headed down the street, and Kagami watched him for as long as he could until he turned another corner, and out of sight. He found himself wanting to find a nice, sturdy wall to bang his own head against as he turned and headed in the opposite direction, heading home.

This was weird, right?

For the second time tonight, those words, that thought, had just come up and hit him in the face, so fast and so blunt that Kagami would have actually probably said them had he not choked on a burger, or this time, air, long enough to stall himself into actually thinking before he said them. And it was probably a good thing too, because he wasn’t sure how Kuroko would have taken any of that.

At the very least, for what little comfort it was worth, Kagami knew Kuroko would have at least not laughed at him. That wasn’t how Kuroko operated at all. What would he have done instead? Politely declined? Told him he wasn’t into guys? Told him he didn’t feel the same? Would it have just totally and royally screwed up their partnership? Their friendship? Kagami was pretty sure this was one of those things where there was no going back. Almost like when you crumpled a piece of paper; no matter how many times you tried to straighten it out afterward, there was no way for it to be perfect again.

That thought of losing him as a friend scared Kagami the most, in all honesty.

That was the one thought that followed him all the way back to his apartment, even as he flicked on the light, closed the door behind him and dropped his keys in a little bowl on the sideboard by the entrance before he kicked off his shoes.

It would more than suck to lose Kuroko as a friend.

Even if they couldn’t be anything more, he still wanted to stay by his side.

Kagami wandered into his bedroom, falling back on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

No matter how beautiful he was, how his heart raced when he looked at him, how they read each others minds, how proud he felt when he got Kuroko to even just crack a smile, how he wanted to spend almost every minute of every day with him…he didn’t want to lose his best friend. That would hurt far more than having to hold back on his feelings ever could. He was sure of it.

Kagami sighed and rubbed his eyes.

Maybe that’s what he should do. Just not tell him. Maybe it was just a crush and with some time it would fade away and they could just go back to being normal. Maybe he was just overthinking this, thinking it was love when it really wasn’t. Why ruin something so good over something that was probably just a crush?

That had to be it, right?

Right?

It probably goes without saying, but he didn’t sleep very well that night.


	2. Chapter 2

Okay, so maybe it wasn’t just a crush. 

It’d been weeks now. Weeks of Kagami waiting things out. Waiting for that weird butterfly-like fluttering in his stomach to die down, waiting for his heart to stop doing that—quite frankly—sometimes concerning palpitating thing that it did when Kuroko got close, waiting for the random thoughts of ‘I love you’ and ‘you’re amazing’ that seemed to only pop up when he looked at his partner to slow to a stop. But it never got any better. Instead, Kagami felt like it was getting worse. 

It didn’t really hit its peak until after the Winter Cup concluded in their win against Rakuzan. That’s when Kagami could pinpoint it being at it’s most intense. The look in Kuroko’s eyes seconds after the buzzer rang out with the realization that their team had won, and that they’d kept a promise that had become incredibly dear to the both of them, seem to spread across his face in a heart-breakingly beautiful kind of way just seconds before he practically vaulted himself into his arms. Among all of the things going on in that moment, Kagami remembered that best. He remembered holding him close even as their other teammates gathered in for something of a victory group hug. He remembered how perfect he fit in his arms and how just plain _good_ it felt to have him that near. He remembered not wanting to let him go. He remembered being actually pretty reluctant in doing so, even for just a moment. 

If he had to pinpoint it, he would guess that was when his feelings had come into full bloom, when even denial didn’t seem to work anymore. This…wasn’t a crush. Crushes didn’t carry on this long or just continue to grow in intensity, right? At least he didn’t think they did. He’d always kind of just pictured something that was “just a crush” sputtering out, fading away, and everything just kind of going back to how it was. Over it and done. But…that wasn’t how this was working. _This just kept getting stronger._

Even after that little revelation, he _had_ still planned on keeping it to himself, of course. _”Planned”_ being the actual key word. The thought of things becoming awkward or weird between him and Kuroko always kind of lurked in the background, but it was becoming more and more difficult all the same. They continued their daily routines as they prepared for a new season, a second year. They’d walk to school together, go to class, go to practice. Then, either they would put in some more time at a local court, or go to Maji Burger. Sometimes they would stay at the school and study. Then they’d walk home. All the while, Kagami was finding it harder and harder to keep himself together. He’d feel jittery. His palms would start to sweat. Any goddamn time they got close, like sitting together on the bus with the team, if they bumped into each other during practice, or if their hands brushed while he passed back papers to Kuroko during class, he’d turn into a blushing, stuttering mess. He was almost starting to worry everything else about him would give him away before anything he could possibly say would. 

Really, he wasn’t even sure if Kuroko had noticed that anything was up. If he knew his partner—and he did—he probably had noticed that something was _off_ , at the very least. If he had, he hadn’t questioned it, not really making any indication that he had noticed a change in Kagami’s behavior at all. Kagami prided himself on being able to read Kuroko pretty well these days, but this? This…he just didn’t know. 

The final straw had come when all his feelings started hindering them on the court and in practice. They started to slowly fall out of sync with each other here and there. A pass delivered too soon or a jump made too late. Kagami spending too much time avoiding Kuroko’s direct gaze and not enough time on focusing on what was in front of him. It was becoming a problem, and the idea of protecting—at the very least—their partnership by keeping his feelings silent was starting to be come a moot one. He still didn’t want to risk their friendship but at the same time this turn of events was kind of forcing his hand wasn’t it? Basketball wasn’t the only thing their friendship was based in, but it was still pretty important to the both of them. And…it wasn’t fair to Kuroko or to their team, really, to let his own dumb feelings continue to screw them up. 

Kagami supposed if he couldn’t hide from or hold back his feelings…he’d just have to face them head on. No matter what that brought or how difficult it would be. 

He had to tell him. Get it out in the open. Maybe things wouldn’t be perfect afterward. Maybe they wouldn’t be able to go back to being exactly how they were before. But it had to be better than the jittery, blushing, clumsy, awfully timed version of himself that this current situation was producing. 

Maybe if Kuroko didn’t feel the same, they could always find their way around it. 

He hoped so, because no matter what, losing Kuroko as a friend would still suck. 

He’d decided he couldn’t just tell him outright. That would be…too embarrassing. There would be absolutely no way he could actually tell him everything that was in his heart or his head right to his face, even though he knew Kuroko deserved as much. He just wasn’t good enough with words in general, and when flustered, it was even worse. Kagami could already picture the impending disaster: going red-faced, stuttering, not getting any real words out, Kuroko being confused as all hell. Nah, it wouldn’t work. That would just…be a catastrophe. If he was going to confess, Kuroko deserved a better confession than _that_.

So what should he do then? Leave a note? Like, in his locker? A confession note left in a locker. That was a little cliché, wasn’t it? Anyone could make a letter and leave it in his locker. And it seemed…kind of a creepy practice, if you asked him. Besides, how would he even be certain Kuroko would even see it? And if he did see it, what if another one of their classmates saw it too? Kagami _really_ didn’t need other people getting involved on this. It was complicated enough when it was just him trying to figure out how to confess to Kuroko, let alone Kuroko in front of whatever extraneous audience decided to tag along. No, a note wouldn’t do. 

Kagami wracked his brain for nearly three days trying to come up with a way to confess his feelings. Everything he came up with either seemed too grand, too weird, or seemed to involve a much larger audience than he would have ever liked for _anything_ like this, until it hit him. Back when he lived in the US, a common thing for people who liked each other was to make mix tapes or CDs for one another. They’d be full of songs that reminded the other of the person they were given to, or songs that reminded them of what they had or showed how they felt. 

He was utterly convinced of the brilliance of this idea. He could easily sneak a CD onto Kuroko without people questioning too much. Kuroko could take it home and listen to it in private, and they could talk about it later. That and it was at least somewhat unique enough to not seem really creepy or cliché.

It was perfect. 

Well, at least it seemed perfect until Kagami sat down on the floor of his apartment in front of the coffee table one evening and started plotting out a list of songs, only then realizing that most of the songs he knew or made him think of Kuroko were in English. 

Shit. 

Kuroko’s English wasn’t _bad_ per se. Actually Kuroko got much better marks in English class than he did despite his fluency in speaking the language. Kagami still swore that the way they taught English here in Japan was completely different from the way it was actually spoken in the states, but he supposed that was kind of beside the point. The thing was, while Kuroko did _okay_ in English, some of the songs lyrics might not get heard in the way he intended because Kuroko didn’t understand them, rendering the CD kind of confusing, if not useless. 

Great. Just awesome. The perfect idea ruined by the fact that he was a goddamn returnee who loved American music. Fantastic.

All the same, he didn’t want to start from square one. This idea worked in ever other aspect, and as much as he didn’t want to admit it, he wasn’t entirely sure he was clever enough to come up with something even better or even more worthy of Kuroko in general. Sighing, Kagami let his head fall to the table with a defeated thud, which was quickly followed by another thud that caused him to lift his head, and look over. Apparently he’d jostled the coffee table enough to knock his Japanese to English dictionary off of it. He usually kept it around sometimes for when he was doing homework and kanji got the better of him. That’s when the solution dawned on him. 

He could just translate the songs. 

It’d take him forever, and he honestly wasn’t so sure he wouldn’t still kind of mess up here and there, but he was going to put his best into translating each of the songs that were in English into Japanese, putting them into some kind of little jewel case booklet. That way, Kuroko could understand what they were saying, what he was saying, and then…maybe Kuroko could understand how he felt. Even if he didn’t feel the same way. He could get it out there, they could deal with it, and hopefully, despite his worries, move on from there. 

Because, as much as he loved Kuroko, and as hard as he would try to tell him how he felt, he really didn’t expect him to love him back. 

Cracking his knuckles, Kagami grabbed the dictionary, setting it back on the coffee table before getting everything he would need and getting to work. This wasn’t going to be the easiest thing he’d ever done, for _several_ reasons, but life was about challenges, wasn’t it? 

Besides…he needed to do this.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has sent me kind comments and let me know what you’ve thought so far! I really do appreciate it and _you_ even if I don’t comment back.  <3
> 
> To address something really quick, I will NOT be posting a song list. I wanted to leave that up to reader interpretation what songs Kagami put on the CD. So it’s really up to your imagination what it is he put on there!

It took him nearly an entire week. A week that consisting of late nights, groggy mornings, dozing off in class, and practices where coach yelled at him and then gave him extra laps for being so out of it.

But it was finally finished.

The CD he planned to give to Kuroko was in his school bag, neatly tucked away.

Now the only trick was finding the right moment to either quietly hand it over to him or to slip it onto his person when he wasn’t paying attention. The latter was a bit more desirable due to the fact that, that way, he wouldn’t have to explain himself—at least not right away—but it was proving difficult to pull off over the course of the day. Along with the fact that Kuroko was an incredibly observant person who didn’t often miss much, every single time he got a moment where he could possibly hide the CD on him, they were interrupted somehow.

The first instance was in the morning while they were walking to school.

Kagami noticed that Kuroko’s bag was slightly open as they walked, and when Kuroko’s phone went off with a text,—probably from Ogiwara, if he had to guess—causing him to check it, Kagami saw his window. He peered over, spotting the fact that Kuroko’s bag was unzipped by just enough, leaving him trying to assess if the open zipper was just open far enough that he could fit the CD—jewel case and all—into it. It was not even a moment later when Nigou’s head popped out through the unzipped opening, the dog barking and nearly sending him falling on his ass.

“What the hell?” He was used to the mutt being a stowaway in Kuroko’s bag from time to time, but admittedly this time he was caught off guard.

Kuroko looked up from his phone, closing it and blinking at him. “I’m sneaking Nigou into school today. No one was going to be home to keep him company. I figured he could roam freely during practice as usual.”

“You could just leave him at home,” Kagami huffed. “It’s not like he’s a kid or something.”

“Perhaps not,” Kuroko replied with something that Kagami could only classify as a slight pout that anyone else would have missed, something that made his heart pound in that stupid, stupid way again. “But I still prefer him with me.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He grumbled back as they resumed their normal pace toward school, internally cursing that dog for getting in his way _yet again_. If he wasn’t so damn important to Kuroko… “I know.”

The second instance was more his teammate’s faults than anything.

It was lunch time, and they’d both just sat down to eat. Kuroko had set his bag aside, Nigou still inside of it, sneaking him pieces of food here and there while they sat at the lunch table. Kuroko was somewhat doing this absentmindedly as he looked over the upcoming game schedule, something that coach had given everyone a copy of so that they could keep better track this year. It wasn’t a _perfect_ opportunity, Kuroko being halfway distracted like this, but if he was quick enough, he could tuck the CD into one of the side pockets and maybe Kuroko wouldn’t realize it…

He managed to get a hand into his own bag, fingertips brushing over the plastic of the case when they heard a voice call out, catching both their attention. It was Furihata.

“Kagami!” He called, walking up to the table. Kagami’s hand slipped from his bag as both he and Kuroko turned their attention to him, attempt aborted. “Ah, Kuroko’s here too!”

Sometimes Kagami wondered if he wasn’t just a big signpost for people trying to find Kuroko these days. Somehow the idea didn’t bother him as much as he thought it probably should have.

“Met coach in the hallway. She says tomorrow she’s gotta cut practice short to retool the training menus so it’s double practice tonight. Wanted me to pass it along to you both.”

Kagami and Kuroko exchanged glances and Kagami fought the urge to groan. Not only did he miss his opportunity to leave the CD in Kuroko’s bag just now, but double practice was murder, and the idea of coach restructuring their training menus was even worse. She was going to kill them in the coming weeks, he just knew it. It was always worth it, don’t get him wrong, but coach could put them through hell when she wanted.

Before he could respond Kuroko spoke for them, which was probably for the best. “Thank you, Furihata-kun. We’ll be there.”

All Kagami could do was nod, even though what he really wanted to do was to bang his head against the lunch table.

“Yeah.”

The third instance happened after class. And that whole thing was just…kinda awkward.

They were heading for the gym so they could get ready to start practice when Kuroko was stopped by someone on the library committee, asking him a question about something. Something to do with helping the school gather the funds to add to their books? Kagami didn’t know and wasn’t about to butt in. Books weren’t…really his thing. Instead, he made note of the fact that Kuroko was once again distracted, his bag _still_ a bit open so Nigou could breathe and occasionally peek out. Maybe this was his chance!

Kagami carefully moved to open his bag. He was trying his hardest not to draw attention to himself, all while silently wondering how the hell Kuroko was able to do stuff like this so easily on a regular basis, when he heard someone clear their throat behind him.

“Kagami-kun?”

Kagami turned to see a girl he recognized from their class. He didn’t really know much about her. Her seat was on the other side of the room and he hadn’t spoken to her much. He turned to her and she gave him a small, almost seemingly nervous kind of smile.

“Yeah?” He answered dumbly as he blinked, re-zipping his bag and stepping away from the conversation Kuroko was having with his fellow library committee member to speak to her, wondering what this was about.

She looked unsure, biting her lip, unable to look him in the eye exactly, and speaking quietly, just loud enough for him to hear.

“I know this is a rather sudden thing to just ask in the hallway like this…but I’ve been watching you for quite some time and I like you. Would you please go out with me?”

Kagami was flabbergasted for a good minute, the words not really clicking in his brain at first, able to feel his face going slightly pink. Him? Why? Was this even real? Was this some kind of joke or something?

“Me? I just…I’m sorry, but I’m…I don’t know how to tell you this, but…” He sputtered, not quite sure how to answer this without seeming too harsh. He wasn’t keen on making _yet another_ girl cry. Once with Momoi had already been too much.

Her shoulders slumped a bit with a little resignation. She looked disappointed, but not on the verge of tears, thankfully. “Is there someone else?”

Kagami sighed, expression going soft as he thought of Kuroko and the CD still sitting in his bag that he had yet to give to him.

“Yeah. There is. I’m really sorry—“

She shook her head, giving him a small, understanding, but still somewhat disappointed smile.

“It’s okay. I understand. I just hope that person you like understands how lucky they are.”

Kagami looked away and rubbed the back of his neck, not entirely sure of what to say to that.

“Yeah. Thanks.”

She gave him another understanding smile. “See you in class tomorrow, then?”

“Yeah.”

The girl turned and headed the opposite direction down the hallway and Kagami sighed and silently cursed himself for being so awkward, then looked around, only to realize Kuroko had already left.

“HEY!”

The fourth time was the charm, it seemed, because that was when he finally pulled it off, managing to catch up with Kuroko in the locker room, just as he was setting Nigou out of his bag to let him wander the gym.

“Hey, why did you leave me back there?”

Kuroko looked up at him from his place kneeling on the floor in front of Nigou, trying to straighten his jersey and give him a treat for being so patient over the course of the day. “Kagami-kun was in the middle of a conversation, and I thought it would be rude to interrupt. Besides, we were headed to the same place. I knew you would catch up.”

Well, okay, yeah. He had him there.

All the same, Kagami was about to protest anyway when Kuroko rose, letting Nigou run off for the gym. “Kagami-kun should hurry and get ready. It’s double practice today, and I’m sure he doesn’t want to run laps on top of that.”

Got him again.

“Alright, alright!” Kagami groaned. “I’ll hurry.” His stomach flip flopped when he caught a glimpse of a small smile on Kuroko’s face as he also turned and left the gym.

Kagami sighed and opened his locker to change clothes when it hit him.

He was alone.

He was alone and Kuroko’s bag was sitting _right there_.

Kagami had never moved faster in his life to do something. Not even in a basketball game. Before anyone could come wandering back in looking for a towel or a stray water bottle or something, Kagami opened his bag, pulling out the CD and quickly slipping it into Kuroko’s open bag before zipping his own back up.

There. Done.

Now all he had to do was wait.

As maddening as that would probably be.

Kagami took a deep breath and finished getting ready for practice.

* * *

Practice played out like it normally did, this time running a bit later, though that was what was expected. Despite his nervousness, he and Kuroko played better than they had in weeks, and Kagami couldn’t help but wonder if maybe that was because he’d felt like even if he was still waiting for Kuroko to actually _find_ the the CD, listen to it, and read the lyrics, a weight had been lifted nonetheless. He’d gotten some feelings off of his chest, even if he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Even coach seemed pleased and decided to let them go with just enough time for him and Kuroko to make their usual evening trip to Maji Burger.

Even that seemed back to normal, Kagami feeling less flustered, even though he periodically still thought ‘I love you’ every time Kuroko would smile just so around the straw of his vanilla shake at something he said, or still felt butterflies in his ribcage when he was doing nothing more than arguing with Kuroko that just a vanilla shake didn’t make for a proper meal before finally handing him one of his burgers. For a moment, it seemed okay.

Worry didn’t really set in until he got back to his apartment that evening. Actually, it was this weird mix of worry, excitement, and awkward embarrassment that started to settle into the pit of his stomach as he laid down in bed for the night. How long did it take Kuroko to get home? How long did it take for him to find the CD? Did he find it at all? Did he even realize the CD was from him? Okay, stupid question. He probably would. If anything, Kagami was sure his chicken scratch handwriting on the lyrics probably gave him dead away. Would this mess things up just like he feared it would? Even with how well he knew Kuroko, he didn’t know how this would go at all. He could ruin a good thing by being a big, lovesick idiot, but then again that seemed inevitable either way with how they were playing with all his feelings bottled up.

It was hard to sleep with so many questions swirling in his brain. Would Kuroko want to talk? Probably. It’d probably be kind of strange if he didn’t, now that Kagami thought about it. What would he say, though? Would he just directly and politely tell him he didn’t feel the same? That’s what Kagami was bracing himself for, in all honesty.

Kagami sighed and turned over in his bed, trying desperately to turn off his brain and just _go to sleep_ , but still not having a whole lot of luck.

Those words in those songs…they showed some pretty strong feelings. A couple even used the word ‘love’ outright. He’d agonized over the list, trying to figure out what wouldn’t come on too strong, but still tell Kuroko his feelings. Then again, there weren’t enough songs in the world that could accurately describe how he felt. Kuroko made him stronger, calmed him when he was about to act out, made him a better person than he was before, sometimes just by being next to him. There weren’t enough lyrics on the planet that could explain how amazing and beautiful he thought Kuroko was, how important he was to him and how…if he wanted, he was right here waiting for him.

In the end, he guessed the lyrics had to come on strong. That was the only way they’d actually mirror what he felt.

But what if Kuroko was creeped out? Genuinely bothered? What if they couldn’t actually get past how he felt? What would the team do? What would _he_ do? Kuroko had become someone so important in his life that the idea of not even being friends anymore…

_No. I can’t think like that. I’ll lose my damn mind before the night is up._

He could almost hear Kuroko’s voice saying in an affectionately teasing tone that such complicated thoughts didn’t suit someone so simple, something that would have admittedly irritated him for a moment at the very least, even if the statement _was_ probably right. Maybe he _was_ thinking too much after all.

Kagami eventually forced himself to close his eyes and eventually managed to drift off.


	4. Chapter 4

When he woke up the next morning, he’d almost completely forgotten what he’d done for a second. It took Kagami a minute to let the grogginess dissipate and realize, oh, yeah, he’d told his best friend in the most indirect and sappy way ever that he was in love with him. When that realization hit, all the calm that had existed the evening he’d dropped that CD Into Kuroko’s bag was absolutely demolished. Gone. Part of him actually wanted to crawl back under his blankets in bed and not go to school for the day, just out of embarrassment. 

Don’t get him wrong, it’s not like he _regretted_ the CD. He was just now painfully aware he was going to have to face the consequences of making it and leaving it to Kuroko today. Then there was the added uncertainty of whether or not Kuroko had even noticed that the CD was in his bag. After all, he did just kind of drop it in there. If not, then he’d really have to start over from square one

No matter what, though, he forced himself to get up and get ready like he always did. Couldn’t hide forever. Besides, he was supposed to face this head on, right? He had no idea what he would walk into when they met up at their usual spot this morning, but he supposed that he would soon find out. 

When they did meet up, Kuroko didn’t seem to give any indication that he’d found anything out of the usual. Instead he greeted him like he usually did, and they made their way toward school. Kagami didn’t know _what_ that meant. Did it mean Kuroko hadn’t found the CD? Or did it mean he did find it, and right now wasn’t the right time to talk? It admittedly would be unlike Kuroko to just start talking about this on a busy street. He didn’t know. 

What he _did_ know was that overthinking this again was making him more nervous than he needed to be. So he tried to bring his thoughts back to something a lot less nerve wracking: basketball. 

“So, I was thinking since coach is cutting practice short today, you and I could head over to one of the courts after and get some extra practice in after?” 

He had to pat himself on the back for that one. Legitimate idea, one that if everything were still normal he probably would have suggested anyway. Just try to stay calm, Taiga. 

Kuroko looked over at him and gave him a small smile that was _so_ not helping. “I would like that.” He replied. “You can help me come up with something new for this coming year.” 

All the same, that response made Kagami smile. “Yeah. Gotta keep up, right?” 

Kuroko nodded and lifted his hand for a fist bump, something Kagami returned in kind as he ignored the weird backflip shit his heart was doing in his chest. 

Maybe things would be okay. 

It hadn’t occurred to him that he’d probably be waiting all day to have a serious talk with Kuroko until they got to school and settled in. There was class, then there was practice. Though, inadvertently in his nervousness, he’d managed to find somewhere semi-private to talk, he supposed. He hadn’t even thought about it like that until he sat down. 

It was kind of funny because their first meeting was on a court like that, wasn’t it? Odd, how that worked out. 

Again, that was of course, if Kuroko had even noticed the CD in the first place. Nothing necessarily pointed to the idea that he had. If that was the case, Kagami figured he’d just have to start over. 

He wasn’t necessarily surprised by it, but the day dragged. Nervousness came and went, welling up in him in waves as he tried to pay attention in class, which was something he wasn’t a hundred percent good at to begin with. He felt almost absolutely unable to sit still at all, his leg bouncing, or twirling his pen, clicking it on and off, something that apparently getting on the nerves of the classmate that was sitting in front of him. A few dirty looks, and Kagami at least cut out the clicking. 

At least when practice came, he could run some off that nervousness and energy off. It was short, just as coach had promised, so there was still quite a bit of the afternoon left when he and Kuroko left the school for one of the street courts nearby. His nervousness seemed to ramp up a bit as the court came into sight, but he tried not to focus on it too much as he carried a basketball under his arm and he and Kuroko talked about what they would do next for this season, since that was the topic Kagami could focus on without feeling like his heart was going to leap out of his chest. 

It was about then that it occurred to him…how would he bring this up? It wasn’t just something you just started talking about out of the blue. Should he even be the one to bring it up? If he did, and Kuroko hadn’t found the CD, then the whole point of even making the CD would have been out the window, he guessed. Should he wait for Kuroko to say something? _Would_ Kuroko say something? He was tired of having a ton of questions and no answers. It was exhausting. He wasn’t even sure how other people even _dealt_ with things like this. 

They entered the court, setting their bags down on a nearby bench, Kagami idly noting just then that Kuroko didn’t sneak Nigou in with him for a second day in a row. 

He took a deep breath, twirling the ball he was carrying in both hands. 

“So…where do you wanna start?”

He _might_ not have meant that question in reference to basketball.

“Actually, I’ve been wanting to talk to you about something, Kagami-kun.” Kuroko admitted. Kagami’s stomach clenched. “I found something quite interesting in my bag when I got home last night.” 

So he _did_ find it. Not that he should have really been that surprised.

Kagami opened his mouth. He wasn’t certain whether that was to take a breath or say something when he didn’t really have any words, but he didn’t get the chance to find any because Kuroko continued. 

“I know the CD was from you. I could recognize your handwriting in the lyrics. Before I say anything more, I need to know something important. I need to know you meant it. And I need to know that you meant it for me.” 

In all honesty, what Kagami had been bracing himself for was the “Thats nice and all, but I think we should stay friends also we probably should take some space for a little while” portion of the conversation, but instead Kuroko was asking him if he meant it? What the hell did that mean? Of course he meant it! What kind of person would so something like that just for giggles? Someone messed up, that’s who! Kagami felt a flash of annoyance, but that quickly faded with the look in Kuroko’s eyes. His expression was serious. Even somewhat pleading. He was really asking, wasn’t he? 

Kagami set the basketball in his hands aside, letting it hit the ground and roll toward the fence enclosing the court before closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. Now was not the time to go bright pink and trip over his words. Kuroko needed to know. He needed to know that these were really his feelings.

He opened his eyes, focusing them directly on his partner in front of him. 

“I did. I meant it. Every single word.” 

And, there it was. Kuroko…knew how he felt, right? That it wasn't some mistake, wasn't some miscommunication, wasn't a CD meant for someone else that had accidentally made it's way into Kuroko's bag. He’d overthought, agonized, and fought with himself the whole way about how and what he was doing, but he meant everything the CD stood for and everything it said. 

Of course, now that he thought of it, he supposed Kuroko might have also questioned that due to that conversation he’d gotten caught up in with that female classmate yesterday… He couldn’t help but wonder how much of that Kuroko had actually heard before he left, even if that really didn’t matter right now.

He swallowed, his mouth having started to feel like it was going dry ever since the court had even come into view. He had to explain himself further. Sure, there were songs, but he had a million and one other things he wanted to say, and even if he wasn't good with putting things like this into his own words, he had to try. Kuroko had to know that he really did mean it when he said he loved him. 

"It's just…when I'm with you…I'm me. Okay, shit, that doesn't make any sense, hold on. …It's like…a better version of me. A calmer…less idiotic version of me."

Was explaining things like this _always_ this hard? 

"And I don't mean just in games or in practice or anything, I mean in everything. I wanna be the same for you. I mean, I dunno if I am, maybe I am really too damn simple for all that, but…you're really important to me, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to explain that off the top of my head…I’m not good with words…“

Kagami rubbed the back of his neck and looked down. “So, you know, I made the CD…” He added almost looking sheepish. If you're gonna want to stay friends, just let him down easy, okay, Kuroko? It was kind of unfair, now that he thought about it, he'd kind of put Kuroko on the spot with this, but he really couldn't think of any other way to do this. Now they were here. Only thing to do is move forward, whatever forward meant at this point.

He just hoped that forward didn’t mean an end to their friendship.

He carefully glanced up, catching Kuroko’s expression. It looked as though he were trying to process several things at once, his expression having gone soft, thoughtful. Panic somewhat welled in him, not quite sure how to take the look on his partner’s face. 

“I mean…you don’t have to feel the same way! I just figured you should know and it was messing us up in practice and it could really mess up things in games and I—“ 

“Kagami-kun.” 

Kagami immediately fell silent, cutting off his own nervous rambling.

“You’ve become one of the most important people I’ve ever had in my life. You’ve always lifted me up when I needed it the most, and simplified things that seemed far too murky in the start. And I admit, before I found the CD, I was unaware of my own feelings, but seeing your handwriting and hearing those songs opened up some things for me that, while I didn’t quite realize it, were actually there the whole time. I think what I mean to say is…I feel the same. You help me become myself too. Just as you feel I bring out the best in you, you bring out the best in me. I want that to continue.” 

He was almost speechless at first. What Kuroko had said made his heart pound, the sound echoing in his ears to the point where it’d almost been hard to hear him. Even so, he caught every single word and they made his chest ache, but in this good kind of way. He hadn’t been prepared for that. He’d been building himself up for rejection for so long, preparing for this to have absolutely disastrous consequences to their relationship that he hadn’t even come _close_ to thinking about what he would do if he found his feelings were returned. His mouth hung open for a moment or two as he tried to find something to say, almost at a complete loss for what felt like an eternity. 

“So…you weren’t weirded out?” Kagami blurted, then immediately fought the urge to facepalm. Smooth.

Kuroko gave him a small smile, Kagami able to see a spark of amusement dancing behind his eyes as he shook his head. 

“No, but I did find it rather funny, considering when we first came together, you were worried about people seeing us and thinking we were friends.” 

Ah, yeah. He did say that during the first time they’d run into each other in Maji Burger, didn’t he? Funny how a year spent all alone could turn you into something of a jerk. He couldn’t help but give Kuroko another sheepish look. 

“I know it was kind of sudden, but I’ve been hanging onto this for awhile now. I wasn’t sure how to tell you, or if it would mess things up between us. In any case, I figured this was better than me just anxiously blurting it out in the middle of practice or a game or something.” He explained. 

“I think I probably thought the entire thing to death for weeks. I fought myself on just about everything. Second guessed myself. But…in the end, I knew that I had to tell you.” 

Kagami took a deep breath. Maybe he should, you know, actually say the words. Embarrassing or not, this is a moment when it really counted, and he wanted Kuroko to know for certain that this was how he felt. He couldn’t keep it locked up in his head any longer anyway. He was certain that another week of keeping it to himself would make him crazy. 

“I love you, Tetsuya.” 

Not Kuroko. 

Tetsuya.

Kagami knew that people were finicky with first names in Japan, but the fact of the matter was that it just _didn’t fit_ to him to call his partner by his last name any longer. Not when love was involved. Not when he felt this way about him.

“I never got a chance to say so on the balcony that night because coach practically poisoned us all, but…I’m glad we met too.”

The expression on Kuroko’s face in that moment made him look exactly like Kagami felt. Overwhelmed. Stunned. Like his heart was about to burst. Kagami was feeling the same, but he could understand if maybe that was too much or if Kuroko was okay with it, but not quite ready to say it back. It was a big deal to say something like that, no matter where you were from. If he wasn’t ready, then he wasn’t ready. If he needed to wait, he would. As long as Kuroko needed. He’d wait forever, if he had to. 

Both he, and this thing they had, were worth it. 

He could feel a blush burning over his cheeks despite his attempts to will it back, but Kagami’s gaze stayed steady all the same, watching Kuroko, looking for those small things in his expressions that others tended to routinely miss. A lot of people saw Kuroko as nothing but a shadow, but if you were actually paying attention, he was so, so much more than that. 

Kuroko’s expression melted into a smile, this one a little different than ones he’d given him in the past. It was filled with even more affection than before, love seeming to just radiate from it, making Kagami feel this weird, warm feeling in his chest, so strong that it drown out the butterflies and even the beautiful ache that he’d felt there just moments before. 

Kuroko’s voice was quiet, but steady.

“I love you too, Taiga-kun.”


	5. Chapter 5

_**Three years later** _

Kagami groaned and turned over, slamming his hand down on the snooze button of his alarm clock, silencing the grating noise of it’s alarm and cursing the fact that even though this was a Sunday, he’d completely forgotten to turn it off when he went to bed last night. The irritating sound now stopped, he turned back over, reaching and pulling the figure next to him back into his arms, wrapping up around it in an almost protective fashion as he buried his face in a mop of wild, light blue spikes that smelled of vanilla. 

Kuroko responded to this cuddling by snuggling into his chest further with a hum. Kagami rubbed his back and sleepily decided that there was nowhere else he’d rather be. 

“Happy anniversary, Taiga-kun.” Kuroko murmured, nuzzling at him. Kagami couldn’t help but smile at that. Three whole years spent together. They’d graduated high school together—honestly he wasn’t sure he would have gotten through without Kuroko’s help—, started the same college, and they were as strong as ever. Inseparable, even. They still made each other just…better, even if they could both stand as people on their own. 

“Happy anniversary, Tetsuya.” He whispered in return. “Anything special you want to do today?” 

Don’t get him wrong, he already had a few plans to make this day special for the both of them, starting with spending a bit longer in bed with Kuroko before getting up and making them both breakfast, but he wanted his opinion on it too. Kuroko hummed, half sounding sleepy, half sounding in thought. 

“As long as I am spending the day with you, it will be well spent.” 

Kagami couldn’t help but hug him a bit closer at that, kissing the top of his head. Back when they first met, he would have scolded him for being embarrassing. Now? Now it just made him want to cuddle him close and not let go.

“A day spent together it is, then.” He murmured softly. They’d figure more of the details as they went. Right now, he was content with just the idea of them spending the day together, whatever that held. Kagami nuzzled into Kuroko’s bedhead again, the hair ticking his face as he closed his eyes and let his warmth and the smell of vanilla wash over him again, contentment seeming to seep into him from every direction. Today was going to be a good day. It always was when he started it like this. 

A few minutes of just laying there comfortably passed, before Kuroko spoke again, his voice gentle.

“Taiga-kun…do you remember our first kiss?”

Kagami’s couldn’t help but grin.

“Like it was yesterday.” 

Actually, it had happened shortly after his confession, and Kuroko returned his feelings. They’d stood there watching each other for a moment, both of them trying to process what had just happened. It was a pretty big deal, telling someone you love them for the first time. After all those times he’d thought it, Kagami supposed that even with how he was easily embarrassed and bashful he could be, saying it came naturally. It just kind of rolled off his tongue like he’d said it a million times. 

When you looked at it, in his head he had. 

It was in those moments after that the full realization of what this was hit him like a truck. Kuroko loved him back. _Kuroko. Loved. Him. Back._ He was in love with Kuroko, and Kuroko felt the exact same way he did. Their friendship wasn’t ending. Something much more wonderful was about to start. It was almost hard to process at first, Kagami’s mind almost feeling blank at the realization, but the more and more he turned over the thought in his head, the more real it became.

The urge to kiss him had been overwhelming.

Kagami remembered moving forward, his feet working before his brain could understand what was going on, reaching Kuroko and cupping his face in his hands. He remembered the affectionate, fond, warm look in Kuroko’s eyes that he saw for maybe a second before he leaned in, pressing his lips to his. 

It was maybe about a second into this little, chaste kiss that Kagami had realized that maybe Kuroko wasn’t ready for that yet. That maybe he’d overstepped his bounds and while Kuroko was fine with the affection that cupping his face in his hands showed, he wasn’t okay with a kiss just yet. He…hadn’t really asked as much as he’d gone on his instincts. He really should have asked. Kagami had pulled back quickly and looked sheepish, about to apologize for his sudden boldness. 

Before he could say anything, Kuroko had grabbed him by the collar of his school uniform and pulled him back down into a new kiss, standing on his tiptoes to meet him half way. 

Now reassured that Kuroko wanted this just as much as he did, Kagami felt his arms moving to wrap around him, tugging him close to him and threading a hand through his hair. He’d felt Kuroko’s arms wrap around his neck and pull him down just a little more, and he couldn’t help but melt into the kiss further. Usually he’d be worried about something like this in public, but in that moment, Kagami had found himself not giving a good goddamn who saw them. If they had any objection, they would just have to deal with their public display of affection. He’d been waiting to do this. Despite his feelings, he hadn’t necessarily been completely aware that he’d been waiting to kiss him like this, but when their lips met it was more than obvious that he’d wanted this too, and for a long time.

And kissing him? Kissing him was absolutely amazing. It’d felt like winning. Like the Inter-High, the Winter Cup, the national tournament, all wrapped up into one singular moment, yet somehow still more important than all those things. More important than basketball even, as much as he was sure anyone he knew would be shocked to hear him say that _anything_ was more important than that. The feeling of Kuroko just _belonging_ in his arms returned just like it did when he’d jumped into his arms after the buzzer rang out in that final game against Rakuzan. He hadn’t wanted to let go then, and this time…he didn’t really have to let go. At least not for awhile. 

The kiss had lingered, like they’d both not wanted it to end. Kuroko’s lips were just so _soft_ , and they fit against his like that’s where they’d belonged this whole time. Kagami had to remind himself that now they both knew how the other felt, and those feelings were returned, that they’d probably have many more moments like this together. This was the first, but it was definitely not the last. 

When they’d finally pulled back, Kagami remembered his eyes fluttered open to see Kuroko looking up at him dreamily with a bright pink blush painted over his cheeks, something that he couldn’t help but smile at. Kuroko had looked like how he’d felt, honestly. It was a damn good look for him too. 

“Taiga-kun…” Kuroko’s voice was just as soft and warm as the kiss they’d just shared. “If we could…I’d like to do that a lot more.” That blush darkened a bit with the request, but there was nothing Kagami would have liked more himself.

“We can, Tetsuya.” He remembered replying, leaning his forehead against his. “As much as you want.” 

It was a funny thing to think about now, years later, while they were both curled up around each other in the bed they shared in the apartment they lived in together, neither of them quite ready to get up yet. That feeling of winning when he kissed him? It hadn’t faded in the three years they’d been together. It still happened every single time. There was nothing better on this planet to Kagami than being able to kiss Kuroko Tetsuya on a regular basis.

His thoughts were interrupted when Kuroko hummed and nuzzled into his chest some more. Being brought back into the moment, Kagami pulled at the blankets, tucking them a little more snugly around them before settling back in as Kuroko spoke. 

“I think that’s one of my favorite memories.”

“Mine too.” 

“And…I still have that CD, you know.”

“Really?” 

“Of course.” 

Kagami’s heartbeat felt like it fluttered at that as he gave Kuroko a gentle squeeze. Hearing that…meant a lot. He’d put a lot of work into that CD, trying to put in how he felt as best as he could. To know that even years later, Kuroko had held onto it? That was special. 

“I actually keep with with my medal from the Winter Cup.” Kuroko said softly. Kagami could feel his fingertips tracing little nonsensical patterns on his chest. He was almost speechless, unsure of what to say at first. 

“That means a lot to me.” That was about all he could get out, but it was the truth. The fact that Kuroko regarded that CD as important enough to keep safe…a memento of this amazing thing they now had…that meant a great deal. 

They were quiet for a moment before Kuroko spoke again, his words a bit muffled from the blankets and his placement against him. 

“Taiga-kun?”

“Yeah, baby?”

“Mm…I love you.”

“I love you too.”

_I want to spend the rest of my life with him._

The thought came as sudden as the thought that he loved Kuroko had three years ago, except this time it didn’t surprise him, didn’t catch him off guard. He didn’t choke on air or wonder where the hell the thought might have come from. Instead, a small smile crossed Kagami’s lips as he rested his chin over the top of Kuroko’s head, repeating the thought over and over in his mind. It sounded right to him. He did want to spend the rest of his life with Kuroko. Maybe two guys getting married wasn’t exactly legal in Japan yet, but he’d find his own way to ask to stay by Kuroko forever. He fought the urge to chuckle at the idea of proposing with another CD. 

_Nah, that wouldn’t cut it._

_I’ll have to ask him properly._

When he felt Kuroko press a kiss against his chest, Kagami decided that, while probably still a bit nerve wracking, this would probably be a bit easier than confessing, at least. Not completely easier because he really would have to find the words to tell him he wanted to stay by him for the rest of forever, but…at least he had a pretty good idea that maybe Kuroko _just might_ feel the same. 

They’d spend their day together. He’d get up, make breakfast for them both, and they’d share whatever the day held from then on. He had a few plans, like taking Kuroko out somewhere nice instead of just staying in and cooking, but just like Kuroko, spending their anniversary together was the most important part to him. 

Then tomorrow? Tomorrow he’d start the search for some rings. 

And if he _did_ make Kuroko another CD…then he’d give it to him in person right alongside them.


End file.
